My dear friend gave me a necklace of two hummingbirds that face each other in the shape of a heart. It represents my children, as was his intention and sentiment.
I’ve witnessed his generosity and thoughtfulness for 16 years of our friendship. This gift felt more special than anything else. He made it clear he didn’t mean for this necklace to be romantic. But it was by far the most romantic gift anyone has given me.
He told me he remembered when I expressed a desire to be a mom, and now I’m a great one. And every time I wear it, the necklace reminds me of the reason I’m a mom. It keeps me centered in that love for my kids. Whenever I feel my emotions getting the best of me, I pause. It’s funny what an object can do to a person.
I relayed that to him. He said he saw it and knew he had to get it for me and smiled. He knows I love hummingbirds and love being a mama. He wants to bring me joy.
I have two hummingbirds tattooed on my arm, loosely representing a pairing. I came to see it as a love pairing, as two mated birds.
Hummingbirds are tiny but mighty, beautiful little spitfires. I’ve had many hummingbird friends drop in for a visit to remind me of their harnessed joy. They’re love in its concentrated form.
I have no doubt his intentions were as he’s told me. But it felt like so much more. We started revving up our sexual energy with each other a while ago, and it hasn’t been long since we’d talked about being in an intimate long-distance relationship.
When he told me things had cooled, I thought I was fine for a day or two. Then I was so sad at what I felt was a lost opportunity to deepen our relationship. About a month later, we started sharing our sexual fantasies again. I was surprised yet delighted we could play.
After years of platonic friendship and not yet demonstrating otherwise, it’s tantalizing that maybe we still could. We’ve never held hands or kissed, but we chat about naked frolicking.
And then he sent me a beautiful necklace that he insists isn’t romantic. Maybe it’s not meant to symbolize us. But having it bronzed especially for me, intending to recognize the love for my children? Yes, it is intensely romantic.
I wonder if he understood his impact. I cried when I opened the box and placed it around my neck. I wear it every day, and occasionally touch my chest with an acknowledgment of the most romantic gesture I’ve ever received.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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Photo credit: finix8 from Pixabay
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